Heartstrings

Back and forth, back and forth.

My mind has been reeling back and forth between the past and the future. There is so much I have to say for a time such as this, yet saying it may not even do justice to how I feel.

The song below paints a picture of a parent letting go of his/her child. No, I wouldn't call myself a parent (or a father), that would only water down its significance. Perhaps a caretaker, where his role has run its course. And there's nothing left to do, but to simply accept this truth.

*Mushy alert!

My child inside I love you
I'm asking through the tears
That God would grant me wisdom
Way beyond my years
Because your life is precious
And the best for you's in store
I pulled upon my heartstrings
Until they finally tore

And I prayed
And I cried
And because I love you so I'm letting go
To trust the One I know for sure
I'll place you in the Father's hands
The only One who'll ever love you more

You were the miracle we prayed for
That we could not have had ourselves
You brought us joy and happiness
And a love we never felt
How we cherished every moment
Then we looked up and you were grown
Never knew this day would come so soon
Or how the years have flown

And we laughed
And we cried
And how it hurts us so to let you go
So much life for you in store
I'll place you in the Father's hands
The only One who'll ever love you more

And the hardest part of living
Is giving back what we've been given
Each gift from God is only yours and mine
For a time

So we laughed
And we cried
And the hardest part of life is letting go
To trust the One we know for sure
Will hold us safely in His hands
Cos no one else will ever love us more
Will hold you safely in His hands
Cos no one else will ever love you more

"Heartstrings"
by Lisa Bevill and Erin O'Donnell

**

I never imagined I would feel this way. So much has hit me over the past week. I don't think I knew the love I had. As your "caretaker", my duty was to care, and I did (as best as I knew how). But somewhere along the way, a sense of fondness grew for the people I cared for. Little did I know, I fell in love with you sweethearts (and rascals).

Everything will change, I know it for a fact. You were given to me for a time to learn what I needed to. But lesson time is up. And I have learned what I needed to. Perhaps you have too. I don't mean to sound pessimistic, Lord knows I try to keep my head to the sky. But I know I have to close this chapter, and you have to close yours too. But should we be given another chance at friendship, I'd grab the bull by its horns, and be the best friend I can. But if not, I'd count all these months/years as nothing short of a blessing.