1.41

It's 1.41AM and I'm sitting alone in the office. 

Kennyboy Speaks To Jinnyboy

Today, I was reminded again of why I decided to venture into journalism a year ago.

I wanted to be inspired by the stories my interviewees had to tell. Real-life stories about people overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds never cease to inspire me, no matter how many times they are told.

True enough, when I sat down with Jinnyboy today, I had the "Aha" moment that usually only happens when I'm either watching Oprah or listening to a sermon at church.

Here was an ordinary guy who had a dream he believed in so much that he would stop at nothing to achieve it. Yes, sounds like a storyline straight out of a Disney movie. No, it is.

But here was someone who actually did it! It felt so surreal to be talking to someone who went all the way, ALL the way, through all that valleys low, mountains high, challenging stuff, and found the Promised Land.

I probably didn't show it but I was so inspired by the stories he shared and and the sense of sincerity he projected while he was sharing them.

There were little nuggets of information about his upbringing (In my mind, I went, "Oh you were that kid?" ... But not in a judgmental way la) and flashes of emotions which hinted at how serious he took things (I think he was candidly sharing about how he gets frustrated at people who don't get back to him on stuff.)

Of course, the whole thing got me thinking about my own hopes and dreams. Listening to his story lit a fire in me. For a moment, the impossible felt like it was within reach. I felt alive, I felt excited to be alive, like I should be.

But sometimes, I'm gripped by a sudden surge of fear, thinking how if I don't start letting my dreams set sail, they would never leave the dock.

It's not too late now, but someday it'll be.

P/s: I found out it was his birthday during the interview. Felt bad he had to spend one hour of it talking to a stranger. :S

I called him "Mitch"

I'll admit. There are moments at work where things get very mundane. My heart doesn't skip a beat and my knees don't buckle in fear anymore when I'm told to do a story on an unfamiliar topic.

Which is a good thing, of course. I mean, I can't imagine living in fear all the time when I'm told to do something.

But every now and then, my timid heart is awakened and I can feel my timorous self walking back into the building again.

About a week or so ago, I got the chance to interview someone I look up to quite a bit. Ok, a lot.

Someone whose writings has inspired me to not just get through things, but live through them. Someone who has taught me the power of simple, honest writing. And someone I never imagined I would talk to one day.

That day came. It was a Friday. I spent the entire day worrying about whether my questions were adequate. I prepared 15 questions for a 10-minute phone interview.

At 7pm, I made the call. After a few failed attempts - I'm still learning how these international calls work - the line got through.

His voice came on the phone. I said, "Hey Mitch!" As it was a casual phone conversation, I thought it'd be inappropriate to include his last name, Albom.

Glee puts a frown on my face

I really don't think I can stand Ryan Murphy much longer.

I'm starting to think the Glee director/producer/writer/whatever he does has a case against the Christian faith.

Now I can't say I'm a pious Christian. Haven't been doing devotion for a long long time now and my attendance at Acts hasn't granted me the 'church celebrity' status yet.

With no religious high ground to stand on, I'm really just watching it and judging it like anyone else would. (okay all that religious upbringing might tip my judgement here a bit.)

But am I the only one who thinks that there is always a stroke of cynicism each time he takes the brush and paints the show's Christian element.

Quinn Fabray's President of Christ Crusader but it always ends up as some joke screenwriters can count on to lap up some laughs among the audience.

Sam Larsen, the dreadlocks guy, I thought he held some promise since Murphy said he wanted to cast the character as a positive Christian role model. Again, he becomes a laughing stock, being constantly made fun of for looking like Jesus ... literally.

On this week's episode, the end times Left Behind series by Tim LaHaye (and someone I don't remember) gets poked fun pulak.

And it wasn't just a passing statement, there was a scene where everyone who attended this Left Behind book club thing enacted the rapture, leaving their shirts and shoes on chairs and floors to scare some poor kid.

My heart cringed. The entire thing was painted to look like some extreme, religious cult thing. Urgh... I'm thinking of all the people who don't know Christ, and watches it, and agrees with Glee cos Glee made a cool joke out of it.

But I'm not laughing.








P/s: Otherwise, every other part of the episode was great - really poignant.

Balls

I hope you won't mind my language but sometimes, there really is no other, more accurate way of putting it. I've got to grow some balls.

Because it's getting darker and darker, deeper and deeper, lonelier and lonelier. I'm about to hit rock bottom.

And there's a choice I have to make.

The Start

A dear friend once told me I should never change who I am, save for two reasons: that the change would be good for me, and that change is what I want.

Today is the start of that change.
Whether or not it's truly good for me, that's subjective. But yes, it's what I want.

Let the change begin.

Prayer Takes Wings

Dear God,

I thank You.

There are very rare moments in life when dreams actually come true. Today it has.

I don't deserve it, but thank You.

Amen.

Crush

I think I'm having a crush...

No, it's not what you think it is.

It does something to you...

...when you see / hear folks from all walks of life worshipping God in one song but in different tongues. This is the world edition of How Great Is Our God. And I'm proud to say, we know two languages here (besides English)!

Seriously, the combination of faith and racial unity gave me chills!

P/S: And I particularly like the "Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh" Indian-inspired bit. Just never thought I'd hear that in a worship song.

P/P/S: There's also a studio version which you can listen here.

I'm Movin' On

"There comes a time in everyone's life, where all you can see are the years passing by..."

Life-changing

I know, I know. I've abandoned this blog for over a month now, not deliberately of course. Just... a lot has happened.

In the past couple of weeks, life has moved on, or should I say, sped on, at a hundred miles an hour. I recently started work, Jan 9, at The Star. There's sooooooooo much that I've come to realise in these short weeks. But suffice to say, and I know I always say this arbitrarily, but this time I truly mean it, it's been life-changing.

Really, there is no other way to put it.

The people. The environment. The air. The culture. The work. The direction. The velocity. The life. Everything has changed.

And I'll admit, it hasn't been easy. Well, it's not supposed to be easy - we're talking about change here! But I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the people that I've been placed with. People who - wait for it - care.

I'm also grateful for my faith. (If you've been reading my blog, you'd know that I don't talk about faith that often. That's 'cause I don't want to steer thoughts in your mind in a direction where you think that I'm all the way there, where truly, I'm no where near there, or anywhere at all. Where is "there" anyway? But this one, this one calls for it.) I'm learning to trust God, I'm learning to walk with Him, talk to Him each day before I start work.

People doubt the existence of God so much, and I do too, but sometimes, there is no choice but to believe. Who else is there really? But I've discovered. Here lies the problem. I need God. But I don't love God. I know, I've said it, and I've sung it. That bridge from Planetshaker's "Beautiful Saviour", "I will sing forever, Jesus I love you, Jesus I love you..." Uhhhuhhh, you know what I'm talking about.

Although I've been walking with God since I started work, I know it's because times are hard in my life and I need Him. Simply put, He's my coping mechanism. But when the storm winds of life stop blowing? When the sun shines again?

I need Him, I crazy need Him. But when will I love Him? It's the same cycle... Tough times? Run to Jesus. Good times? Can't even find my Bible while dad is blaring the horn in the car waiting to go to church.

What love is there?

I digress. And I know I could easily delete the above but I felt that was important. Kinda like a little prayer to the Man up there.

Anyway, about life at work. I conducted my very first face-to-face interview (the very first interview was on the phone) a few weeks back and thought that I should document this. It's not like huge-huge-interview-with-Prime-Minister-kinda-thing but it's a good start.

Filipino Youtube singers, Krissy and Ericka, were at town the other day and I was sent to interview them. Check them out below.

Kinda like the Filipino version of Jayesslee, don't you think? You can read my write-up of it here. Yes, I'm shamelessly promoting my work, and I'm proud of my shamelessness!

It feels so surreal really. When the article came out on the newspaper, I was excited for sure (yes, I kept a copy of it). But my heart really got pumping when I saw someone posting my article on their Facebook page. I don't know, I guess it's because it shows that people are reading - at least some.

To you guys out there who have been curious to know how life has been for me, this one's for you. Really, I'm writing this with you in mind since you've opened up entire chapters of your life to me. Here's a page torn out from my life's book.

I Don't Know What It Is

I don't know what it is
That makes this heart stop
Like a cup about to drop

I don't know what it is
That makes this hundred pound load
So light I can carry it tiptoed

I don't know what it is
That sets you apart
Not handicraft but a work of art

I don't know what it is
That makes your lie true
How green can be blue

I don't know what it is
That makes your ugly lovely
And their beauty ugly

I don't know what it is
That makes your presence
Just about the sum of my entire existence

Then a wise man whispered to me
Like a lost sheep he called out to me

He said, don't ask what
Don't ask why
Just promise to remain nearby

Because Angels Sound Like That